Best Funny Dog Love Quotes and Sayings

Everyone knows that a dog is a man’s best friend. They are the light of our lives. They are cute, smart, funny, which make them very good companions. Here are some funny dog quotes to make you appreciate your furry friends more.

105 of the Best Funny Dog Quotes

Here are 105 dog quotes that are sure to touch your heart and give you more than a few laughs.

1. “If I had a dollar for every time my dog made me smile, I would be a millionaire.” – Anonymous

2. “Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face he gets mad at you? But when you take him in a car, he sticks his head out the window.” – Steve Bluestone

3. “No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as much as the dog does.” -Christopher Morley

4. “The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.” – Andrew A. Rooney

5. “A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.” – Josh Billings

6. “Ever consider what our dogs must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul, chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we’re the greatest hunters on earth!” – Anne Tyler

7. “Dogs are our link to paradise. They don’t know evil or jealousy or discontent. To sit with a dog on a hillside on a glorious day is to be back in Eden, where doing nothing was not boring–it was peace.” – Milan Kundera

8. “Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can’t eat or play with it, just pee on it and walk away.” – Anonymous

9. “Friendly dog but beware of owner.” – Anonymous

10. “Happiness is a warm puppy.” – Charles Shultz

11. “You can trust your dog to guard your house but never trust your dog to guard your sandwich.” – Anonymous

12. “If aliens saw us walking our dogs and picking up their poop, who would they think is in charge?” – Anonymous

13. “My advice to anybody, including myself, is if you’re going through a bad period, and you just can’t see the world on your shoulders and no day is a good day, you’re missing the whole point of the experience. And that’s something dogs know from the moment they come bounding up to you as a puppy.” – W. Bruce Cameron

14. “If there are no dogs in heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.” – Will Rogers

15. “I’ve seen a look in a dogs’ eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically, dogs think humans are nuts.” – John Steinbeck

16. “The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven, not man’s.” – Mark Twain

17. “For the best seat in the house, you’ll have to move the dog.” – Anonymous

18. “I once decided not to date a guy because he wasn’t excited to meet my dog. I mean, this was like not wanting to meet my mother.” – Bonnie Schacter

19. “Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out, and your dog would go in.” – Mark Twain

20. “Anybody who doesn’t know what soap tastes like never washed a dog.” – Franklin P. Jones

21. “My dog winks at me sometimes… And I always wink back just in case it’s some kind of” – Anonymous

22. “I feel sorry for people who don’t have dogs. I hear they have to pick up food they drop on the floor.” – Anonymous

23. “I don’t think twice about picking up my dog’s poop, but if another dog’s poop is next to it, I think, ‘Eww, dog poop!'” – Jonah Goldberg

24. “The dog was created especially for children. He is the god of frolic.” – Henry Ward

25. “The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog.” – Anonymous

26. “The noblest of all dogs is the hot dog; it feeds the hand that bites it.” – Anonymous

27. “Dogs’ lives are too short. Their only fault, really.” – Agnes Sligh Turnbull

28. “Everyone thinks they have the best dog. And none of them are wrong.” – W.R. Purche

29. “My windows aren’t dirty, my dog is painting.” – Anonymous

30. “Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.” – Groucho Marx

31. “The love of a dog is a pure He gives you a trust which is total. You must not betray it.” – Michel Houellebecq

32. “I am not spoiled I just happen to be great at training people.” – Anonymous

33. “Every once in a while, a dog enters your life and changes everything.” – Anonymous

34. “Dogs have a way of finding the people who need them and filling an emptiness we didn’t ever know we had.” – Thom Jones

35. “Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing, right in your ear.” – Dave Barry

36. “Dogs never bite me. Just humans.” – Marilyn Monroe

37. “Actually, my dog I think is the only person who consistently loves me all the time.” – H. G. Bissinger

38. “I named my dog ‘5 Miles’ so I can tell people I walk 5 Miles every day!” – Anonymous

39. “Dogs do speak, but only to those who know how to listen.” – Orhan Pamuk

40. “If you want someone who will listen to you every time, do everything you tell them to do, and always be there for you for better or for worse, get a dog.” – Anonymous

41. “Don’t accept your dog’s admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.” – Ann Landers

42. “If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face, you should go home and examine your conscience.” – Woodrow Wilson

43. “In order to really enjoy a dog, one doesn’t merely try to train him to be semi-human. The point of it is to open oneself to the possibility of becoming partly a dog.” – Edward Hoagland

44. “I don’t always bark at night. But when I do, it’s for no reason.” – Anonymous

45. “Love is a four-legged word.” – Anonymous

46. “Two fleas are coming out of a bar when one asks the other ‘Do we take a dog or do we walk home?'” – Anonymous

47. “You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, ‘Wow, you’re right! I never would’ve thought of that!'” – Dave Barry

48. “I’ve been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog.” – Wendy Liebman

49. “Always look up; there are treats beyond your wildest dreams waiting!” – Anonymous

50. “I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.” – Rita Rudner

51. “The road to my heart is paved with paw prints.” – Alanna Chasin

52. “Never stand between a dog and the fire hydrant.” – John Peer

53. “A dog can express more with his tail in minutes than his owner can express with his tongue in hours.” – Anonymous

54. “Some angels choose fur instead of ” – Anonymous

55. “Nothing in the world is friendlier than a wet dog.” – Anonymous

56. “Everything I know, I learned from dogs.” – Nora Roberts

57. “If you’re lucky… A dog will come into your life, steal your heart and change everything!” – Anonymous

58. “To a dog, a fire hydrant under maintenance is like a bathroom that’s out of service.” – Anonymous

59. “To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs.” – Aldous Huxley

60. “Once you have had a wonderful dog, a life without one, is a life diminished.” – Anonymous

61. “A dog is a great companion when one spouse has to go away on a business trip.” – Anonymous

62. “The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.” – Ambrose Bierce

63. “Some people don’t understand why my dog means so much to me. That’s ok. My dog does.” – Anonymous

64. “Some days you’re the dog; some days you’re the hydrant.” – Anonymous

65. “My goal in life is to be as good of a person as my dog thinks I am.” – Anonymous

66. “If all else fails, hug your dog. Or kitty!” – Anonymous

67. “There are no bad days… when you come home to a DOG’S LOVE!” – Anonymous

68. “Do you ever look at your dog and think… How did I get so lucky?” – Anonymous

69. “It was me, I let the dogs out.” – Anonymous

70. “Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that is how dogs spend their lives.” – Sue Murphy

71. “Dogs are not our whole lives, but they make our lives whole.” – Anonymous

72. “The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue.” – Anonymous

73. “Be brave no matter your size. Take a nap. Hide your favorite snack.” – Anonymous

74. “Stop telling me he’s just a dog. My dog has more personality, integrity, empathy, and loyalty than most people I know. He’s family.” – Anonymous

75. “Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog.” – Doug Larson

76. “A dog desires affection more than its dinner. Well – almost.” – Charlotte Gray

77. “Happiness starts with a wet nose and ends with a tail.” – Anonymous

78. “No home decor is complete without dog hair.” – Anonymous

79. “A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.” – Josh Billings

80. “I took my dog to the fire hydrant factory. They never saw so much excitement every time a hydrant came off the assembly line.” – Anonymous

81. “Dogs teach us a very important lesson in life: The mailman is not to be trusted” – Sian Ford

82. “Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail.” – Kinky Friedman

83. “Scratch a dog, and you’ll find a permanent job.” – Ben Williams

84. “A well-trained dog will make no attempt to share your lunch. He will just make you feel so guilty that you cannot enjoy it.” – Helen Thomson

85. “I’m suspicious of people who don’t like dogs, but I trust a dog when it doesn’t like a person.” – Bill Muray

86. “Every boy should have two things: a dog, and a mother willing to let him have one.” – Anonymous

87. “My sunshine doesn’t come from the skies. It comes from the love that’s in my dog’s eyes.” – Anonymous

88. “Dogs are great. Bad dogs, if you can really call them that, are perhaps the greatest of them all.” – John Grogan

89. “Dogs are like potato chips… It’s hard to have just one.” – Anonymous

90. “The great pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself too.” – Samuel Butler

91. “No matter how many years we get with our dogs, it’s never long enough.” – Anonymous

92. “It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes.” – Jay London

93. “A dog smiles with its whole face – ears, eyes, nose, whiskers, mouth, tongue.” – Pam Brown

94. “Animals are such agreeable friends. They ask no questions, they pass no criticisms.” – George Elliot

95. “Whoever said that diamonds are a girl’s best friend… Never owned a dog.” – Anonymous

96. “Reason number 106 why dogs are smarter than humans: once you leave the litter, you sever contact with your mothers.” – Jodi Picoult

97. “If my dog makes you uncomfortable, I’d be happy to lock you up in the other room.” – Anonymous

98. “Forget the dog, beware of the kids.” – Anonymous

99. “Dogs never lie about love.” – Jeffery Masson

100. “A boy can learn a lot from a dog — obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down.” – Robert Benchley

101. “Sometimes you don’t need words to feel better; you just need the nearness of your dog.” – Natalie Lloyd

102. “There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.” – Ben Williams

103. “Dogs are God’s way of apologizing for your relatives.” – Anonymous

104. “You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.” – Harry Truman

105. “The world would be a nicer place if everyone had the ability to love as unconditional as a dog.” – MK. Clinton

Final Thoughts

Which of these made you LOL the most? Don’t forget to pet your dogs after reading through all this! Surely, you were able to relate to more than just a few of these. As we continue to lovingly care for our furry friends, cherish each moment. Not everyone can experience the kind of joy they bring you.

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